Art of the Rip

Well Nico looks about as stunned (or perhaps just stoned) as I was as of my last Brazilian wax experience. For the uninitiated, the Brazilian takes it all off....and then some, leaving just a strip if you choose, or totally bare for the bravest of bitches. Alright, so I have had this experience before in Florida from an enthusiastic Polish woman named Gosia so I vaguely knew what to expect...lots of pain and flinching and grunting 'Jesus Christ' under my breath. I am pale as hell obviously and with that comes sensitive skin that does not take well to hot wax brutally tearing out coarse hair. I am Italian, what can I say.....

So a new waxing place opened up in my area, entitled European Wax Center and they were giving free waxes for a training. I was going on vacation so I signed up for a leg wax and a full Brazilian. I was led into an absurdly well lit room that closely resembled a dental office, which I liked because it looked clean and professional unlike my double-dipping Polish mistress of pain. So my waxing tech is explaining the type of wax they use to me, which is a hard wax. Hard wax is better for sensitive areas and is stripless, meaning they slather you with electric purple goo, let it harden, and then rip it off for all it's worth. So my leg wax was first. Holy hello pain. The tech smeared about three inches of wax on my legs which was entirely too much and proceeded to rip and tear at my skin for about 45 minutes, after which there was still a bunch of, you know, hair on my legs. "Do you want me to go over that again?" she asks me. Well.....I don't want to have searing pain on my legs AND still have hair there, so YES I say I would like that very much. When there is still yet hair on my legs she calls in her trainer because I have apparently very problematic hair that is a stubborn bitch and wants nothing but to stay rooted to my body. The trainer comes in and it's like night and day. She finished my wax in two minutes, got it all out and started on my Brazilian. Let me just put it out there. This shit HURTS. But it only lasts a few minutes if your tech knows what they are doing. Kristy from Fort Lauderdale knew what was up. "This is REALLY going to hurt" she would say before the particularly painful spots. Hey, I can appreciate the honesty. "I hope you don't hate me right now," she says to me. "Oh I don't hate you," I reply, "but my crotch might." So then after the worst is over, she flips me over and prepares to wax allllll the way to the finish line. "Let's live dangerously," I say and she laughs and comes back with "Oh, the worst is over, you already lived dangerously." And so like a science experiment I roll around on the table under laboratory lighting naked from the waist down smiling in spite of myself at how utterly invasive and painful the whole thing is, and why we subject ourselves to such things in the name of looking and feeling good. I have to say though I love my Brazilian and smooth legs, it's worth the pain, but holy hell I was walking crooked for a day or two afterwards. My verdict is out on the actual waxing center, I would be willing to try again with a more experienced waxer but I might start over with a brow wax or something less terrifying overall.

http://www.waxcenter.com/

Paint it Black

Minus a brief stint into the world of fire engine red, I have colored my light brown hair black for over ten years. I definitely know a thing or two about black hair and all its charming nuances, in a way that only those who actually possess artificial raven locks can know. Yes, I really want it that dark, no it will not come out as easily as you think. My favorite is working at the salon and clients tell me they want 'black hair' and point to a warm brown. Or the time a rather rude fellow insisted that his new honey blonde shade was black. "If your hair is black," I said evenly, "then what color is mine?" Unfortunately he didn't find it nearly as entertaining as I did. 

Black hair is not for the faint-hearted, commitment phobic or timid. Dark brown is for the masses, black is only for the guts. The so-positive-you're-positive crowd. I had red hair for 6 months, the day I drenched it back in Black No.1 I sighed with relief and said hello to my old friend staring back in the mirror at me. 

So, what's the big deal about different kinds of black hair dye, you ask? Well, I'll break it down for you, starting with the big NOs. Before I became a stylist I was pounding Feria's 'Starry Night' down my cuticles which is not only bad for your hair but is just really. shitty. color. It does it's mulitfaceted shimmer thing for all of one washing and then swirls down the drain leaving your hair with a vague purple sheen and double-bonded dye molecules that refuse to ever leave your hair which leads to matte, inky looking color over time. Double bonded dye means that one molecule penetrates the hair shaft, while the other sits on top of it, making it extremely difficult to remove. Feria also contains metallic salts in its formula which equals doom and disaster if any bleach should come in contact with it if you ever want to *attempt* to get it out.

Moving on, to the color I used for a few years after that. Paul Mitchell 1N. I really don't like Paul Mitchell color even though I used it on myself and clients for many moons. It has a beeswax base and it doesn't spread well in my opinion, even with clear developer, but I digress. A fun experiment occured one day when my salon was out of 1N, and so mixed 2N with a purple kicker....I looked like a brown rooted eggplant. These days I am using Wella 2/0 which for reasons unbeknownst to anyone outside that company is their version of black even though it is NOT a level one, but IS in fact as black as it comes. It is one of my favorite black staples, it's not too matte (green) and not too blue (which I think is pretty, but not on me) but it's not without usual haircolor issues. When the sunlight hits it right it looks flaming red and purple.....but I have other issues with Wella at the moment. I am a huge proponent of animal rights and as many people know Wella is now owned by the Proctor and Gamble who are renowned for conducting animal testing and their unwillingness to explore other options.

I am rapidly gaining interest in a haircolor line from Spain called Lakme. The couple of times I have used it and seen others use it the color looks just brilliant and their bleach is some of the fastest-lifting on the market. Best of all, you guessed it, they don't test on animals. Stay tuned for further evaluation. Oh god now there is sad shelter dog Pedigree commercial on TV, I am done. Please visit http://www.lakmeusa.com/products.php

Questions, comments, concerns? Got a black hair experience to share? 

Why Hello....

....and welcome to my new blogging project, pale bones beauty. In a nutshell it is the result of spending far too much time in the shower. On a broader scope, its main intention is for me to share with likeminded people who have a taste for dark glamour and aesthetics a virtual scrapbook of all of my favorite products pertaining to my industry and occupation, which is the business of looking your best. From hair, skin, nails, waxing, plucking, food, fitness, bellydance, and whatever the hell else I feel like, these are a few of my favorite things....