Arch Enemy

For many years, my eyebrows looked a hell of a lot like Kate's here....and less. When I was nineteen in a fit of being young and overly gothic, I started plucking and then shaving off my eyebrows and drawing them back on. The first year or so was probably painful to look at, but then my best friend and I started trading tips and tricks and learned through some serious trial and error the art of drawing on one's eyebrows. I became quite good at it and racked up an equal amount of brow admirers and detractors. Some loved them, some love to hate them and never let me forget it. I promised myself that when I turned 22 I would grow them back. 22 came and went, but I did grow little mini-brows and started just drawing the arches back on. I even got the mini-brows waxed and did a fine job of upkeep on them. And now, officially as of last week and  five difficult years later I am proud to say I finally, truly, have one hundred percent real, beautifully arched eyebrows and I am here to tell all the browless bitches out there that it is not actually impossible like I previously thought it was.

When I was younger my brows were huge. People gave me waxing gift certificates for Christmas for god's sake. Whenever I need to drive home the point to people who didn't know me in those days, I point to the faded scar from where my idiotic sixteen year old self decided a ring should go. The scar is a good half inch below where my eyebrows sit today if that is any indication to you how big they were. So I went from one extreme to the next, having pencil thin brows that when washed off made me look like an alien from Planet Gotharella Abomination. Everyone asked why I didn't get them tattooed and I always answered because I didn't want any needles or ink on my face and I definitely didn't want to do this forever. So I tried growing them back for YEARS. They would always come back even though everyone said they wouldn't, but they would poke out in every direction and just getting used to the idea of having hair above my eyes when it had been absent for so long was maddening.

So for those of you with the unique predicament of growing eyebrows, I offer you these tips:

1.) Accept that you are going to look crazy for approximately one month or more.

2.) Accept that you shouldn't do this on your own. I highly recommend finding a skilled waxer to ease you through the shaping of the unruly porcupine manifesting on your face.

3.) Listen to said waxer. Your perception of real brows when you haven't seen them in years is pretty warped. They know best.

4.) BROW GEL and BROW POWDER are your new best friends. The gel will tame the poki-ness and powder will fill in any sparse areas. I still pencil my brows because I like them to look really sharp and defined and I blend with powder and an angled brush.

So, long story short... finding the elusive dramatic arch in your real brows is not as impossible as you may think as long as your hair will still grow, though it will take a couple months or more. Plus, it's just nice to not have to do your makeup when you need to run to the store for fear of looking like an alien asylum-inmate escapee.....